As we power through tax season, a lot of us are spending more time online, whether that be discussing tax matters with colleagues or just distracting ourselves from our work. With increased stress and an ever-changing tax code, disagreements can occur in the digital world. The anonymity and distance the internet provides often embolden individuals to express thoughts and opinions they might not share in person, leading to harsher interactions.
Navigating online discourse with civility and respect is crucial, not only when engaging in contentious discussions (or even disagreements) but in all forms of digital communication. I would be remiss if I did not admit that I have not always followed the best practices. Like most things in life, navigating the digital sphere is a learning process, and we all evolve. That said, to foster a more respectful and productive online environment, consider these guidelines.
Pause Before Responding
Before you respond to any online interaction, take a moment to reflect. A pause allows you to consider your words carefully and avoid impulsive reactions that could escalate tensions. This is especially important if you are having a bad day. Oftentimes, it is best to avoid social media altogether when you are not in a good mood. Unplugging for a few days, whether that means silencing your notifications or deactivating for a while is ideal.
Read Thoroughly
Ensure you understand the context and content of online posts or comments fully before engaging. Misinterpretations can lead to unnecessary conflicts, so a thorough reading is essential for a constructive response. Be careful, too, when you are sharing an article. Headlines often don’t tell the entire story. Make sure you actually read what you are sharing—because when you share something, you are essentially endorsing it.
Acknowledge Good Points
When someone makes a valid argument or point, acknowledge it. Recognizing the merits in others' contributions paves the way for a more balanced and respectful dialogue.
Use "I" Statements
Frame your responses from your perspective to minimize the defensiveness of your reader. Expressing your views as personal opinions rather than absolute truths encourages a more open and respectful exchange.
Ask Questions
If you're unsure or curious about someone's stance, ask clarifying questions: Say, “What do you mean by _____ ?” or “Can you give an example of _____ ?” or “Is what you’re saying _____?” This approach shows your willingness to understand different perspectives and fosters a constructive conversation.
Stick to Facts
Base your arguments on facts and evidence, and cite your sources. This approach helps keep the discussion grounded in reality and reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings. This is especially important when asking a question about a tax matter. I have seen many times that someone doesn’t want to appear wrong, so they will reply with, “I’ve always done it this way.” But if you’ve always done something the wrong way, it’s still wrong. None of us is an expert in everything; we have to be engaged in constant learning.
Avoid Personal Attacks
On social media, “Keyboard warriors” often use their platform to say horrible things to others, attacks they would never make in person. These types of interactions only serve to escalate tensions and show a lack of reasoning skills on the part of the attacker. If you feel yourself falling into the trap with this kind of response, remind yourself to focus on the topic at hand (and not the individual) and be objective.
Embrace Humility
Recognize that you may not have all the answers. Being open to learning and admitting when you're unsure or wrong can lead to more productive interactions and mutual respect.
Know When to Disengage
If a discussion becomes unproductive or too heated, it's wise to step away. Disengaging can prevent further conflict, preserve your mental well-being, and save you time. After a while, a constant back-and-forth will just distract you from other priorities.
Lead by Example
Your online behavior sets a tone for others. Foster a more positive online community by consistently demonstrating civility and respect for others. Plus, while the digital world often feels vast, it’s smaller than you think, and reputation matters.
Bonus: Be Who You Are
Many will tell you to avoid personal opinions or discussions about anything controversial online. I don’t discount this advice, but I don’t necessarily follow it. Those who follow me on social media know this—I generally say what I think. When I look back at my posts, I know I often could have been more diplomatic, but it doesn’t mean I regret them. Being authentic is important. Social media is often not rooted in reality, with people presenting a facade, a version of themselves they want others to see. More authenticity would be welcomed.
By adhering to these guidelines, you can help create a more civil and respectful online environment. Whether you're engaging in complex discussions, sharing opinions, or simply browsing, these strategies ensure that your digital interactions remain positive and productive. Remember, the goal is to contribute to a constructive online dialogue that respects diverse viewpoints and promotes understanding.
Thank you for reminding us to act like the professionals we are.